Sleep issues...

I know I have been ranting talking about this a lot lately...  I just don't know what to do. 

I always said I would never let my child "cry it out", but I have been fighting with Sweet Pea so much in the last week or so when it comes to bed time.  She would stay up all night and play if I let her.  But we can't be having that.  So, I have been researching a little tonight on the whole Ferber Method and I am considering it.  Some may say I am heartless for doing this, but the way we were doing things before is not working anymore.  She will not lay in bed with me and go to sleep like she used to and she will not let me rock her to sleep like she used to.  So, I'm just doing what I feel is right.  

From what I have understood from my research is, it's not necessarily letting your baby "cry it out".  Yes, they do cry some, but you go back in and reassure them that you are there.  I think I can handle that now.  (I tried this a few months ago but I couldn't handle it then.  I think I can now though).  I will probably be tweeking  the method a little, just to make it tolerable to me.  But I'm hoping we can get this worked out so Sweet Pea and I can both get some sleep.  

This is how things went tonight:   When we got home from town, I put her in her jammies and let her play a little while.  I noticed she was getting a little tired so I got her bottle ready and I fed it to her.  I gave her the paci and started rocking her.  Of course, she started fighting me...squirming, pushing, pinching, and trying to get out of my lap.  So, I let her down and let her play some more.  Finally at 10 after 10, I took her to her bedroom and laid her in the bed with me.  I tried singing and rocking but that didn't work either.  So I put her in her crib and gave her the little glow toy and turned it on.  I told her I loved her and left the room.  She cried for a few minutes and I went back to lay her down and gave her the paci and left the room again.  She cried some more and I went back, did the same thing, but I decided to talk to her and soothe her a little and rub her back for a few minutes then left the room again.  She cried a little more but I could tell she was wearing down.  So I went back and did the same...laid her down, put her paci in, rubbed her back and her face and softly talked to her.  She started flipping around in the bed a little and I could tell she was about to be gone for the night.  I stopped rubbing her back and stepped away and when she turned her head so she couldn't see me, I left the room.  She didn't cry anymore.  She finally fell asleep on her own and has been asleep since.  

Tomorrow night I'm hoping to get on a regular bedtime sleep schedule.  Bath, bottle, book, bed...  I'm hoping I can stick to this.  A few months ago, I wasn't strong enough to do this, but I think I am ready now.  I love having her sleep with me, but I'm so scared that I'm not going to wake up when she does and she's going to fall off the bed and get hurt.  That is my biggest fear right now.  I'm just trying to go with what my heart is telling me to do, and this just feels right.  

I may feel like a horrible mother the first few nights of doing this, but I think it's going to be better in the long run.  So, with all that said...please pray for us!  Thanks!