Just for the record...Part one

I've had this typed out for weeks...but I was afraid to post it because I was afraid of what people might think.  And some of you who know me personally know that I normally don't care what people think of me or think of what I do.  But oh well....  I'm just going to put it out there.  

If you read my old blog, you should know that I have been wanting to start doing posts looking back on when I was pregnant with Sweet Pea. I didn't start my blog until a couple of weeks before she was born, so I don't have all the weekly pictures of my baby bump and everything else that went on in those 9 months. So, I will be going back in time a bit and writing a few posts about my pregnancy and posting a few pictures that I and my family can always go back and look at.

Before I start this post, some of you may learn a few things about me that you didn't know before (in this particular post). This is not because I was hiding anything, but because there are parts of my past that I am not exactly proud of and I chose not to bringing them up. So, with that said....let's move along.... :-)

This might come as a surprise to some, but Sweet Pea was a planned pregnancy. *Gasp*

I have always wanted to have children and I always wanted to be a young mother. Meaning, I wanted to have children in my early 20's. I have always wanted at least 2 children and no more than 4. And my plan was to have all my children before I turned 25.

Funny how things almost never go as planned... Anywho...

This also may come as a shock to some who don't know, but I have been married twice before Mr. Right (hence why he is called Mr. Right! Haha!). I'm not going in to any detail about my past marriages because the past is the past and that's where I would like it to stay. But after two failed marriages, I swore to myself that I was never getting married again!!!!! (I believe that I even told my mother at one point that I was considering sperm donation. Haha! I'm so glad it didn't come to that!)

But then along came Mr. Right.... After Mr. Right and I had been dating for a short while, we knew we wanted to be together. I told him that I have always wanted to be a mother. We talked about how I "thought" my life was going to turn out and how I had things planned for my life. We talked a lot and had several discussions about that particular subject. We knew we wanted to be together and wanted to get married. So, we decided to start trying to conceive.

Yes, I'm aware that we didn't do things in the order they should have morally been done, but like I stated before, I have made decisions in my past that I'm not exactly proud of, but I can't say I regret any them! I'm a firm believer that "everything happens for a reason", even if we did take things into our own hands and go out of God's will. But it's something that we have prayed about and asked forgiveness for and we are at peace with it. And we wouldn't have our sweet baby girl if things hadn't happened they way they did...  :-)

Moving along.....  ;-)

We got pregnant almost immediately. I took a HPT one day and the line was so faint that I could barely see it. I seriously thought I was hallucinating. I showed it to Mr. Right the next morning when he got off work and he said he could see it too. We were so excited! I had some light bleeding that kinda worried me so we called the doctor and they wanted me to come in to get some blood work done. So, we went to the doctor that day. They had me take a urine test and it was positive. I had my blood drawn and I had to go back two days later to have more blood drawn to see if my hCG levels went up or down. I'm sure most of you know that if the levels go up, you are doing good, and if the levels go down, you've had a miscarriage. Well....my levels had gone down. I got the call from my doctor's office while I was at work. I waited until I got home to tell Mr. Right about it. We cried and talked and cried some more... We had to go to the doctor to talk to him about the miscarriage. I wasn't very far along so he said there was no need for any type of procedure. He also informed us that there was nothing that we did or didn't do to cause the loss. It was probably caused from a chromosomal abnormality. He said we needed to wait until I had at least one menstrual cycle before we started trying again. So we went home and talked about whether we wanted to wait a while or if we wanted to start trying again after my next cycle, and we decided to try again.

So, a few months later, I was feeling really moody one night. I wasn't sure for what reason, but I was M.O.O.D.Y!!! I literally and physically kicked Mr. Right out of our bed that night. He slept in the living room on the couch and didn't eat or drink anything all night because he was afraid I wasn't going to let him come through the bedroom to use the bathroom (which is ridiculous because I totally would have let him!). But, that just shows you how moody I was and he did not want to cross my path!!! Bless his heart! (And he just recently told me about him not eating or drinking anything that night...can you imagine how bad I feel now?!) So, a few nights later, I just had a gut feeling that I might be pregnant. I sent him a text while he was working and told him to stop on his way home in the morning and get me a HPT. I took the test and left the little stick in the bathroom because I didn't want to look at it. I didn't want to be disappointed. I made him go look at it. He came out of the bathroom with a goofy grin on his face. (Keep in mind, I can never tell if it's a good or bad thing when he has that goofy grin on his face!) But there it was.....Pregnant!! This time we used the tests that actually say the words Pregnant or Not Pregnant...haha. I wanted to be for sure!

So, that's how things started for Sweet Pea. More to come soon....

And just for the record....this IS the last time I will ever get married!!! You know they say...the third time's a charm! ;-)